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Endgame Sessions part IIIΙ - Time Was Never And Time Is Over

by Rendeece

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This mixtape is the fourth and final part of the mini series of mixtapes that came up as a physical response to the worldwide situation related to COVID-19 pandemic. Artistic-wise the main reference point being Samuel Beckett’s “Endgame”.

While living this strange period of “waiting” isolation, two questions kept coming up: “when all these will end” and “how are we going to begin again”. An immediate urge to dig once more Samuel Beckett’s body of work started surfacing and Endgame seemed like a perfect match. By the first phrase of Clov: “Finished, it’s finished, nearly finished, it must be nearly finished”, it was clear that I had just found my canvas. Not long after that intriguing encounter, I caught myself following Beckett’s thread to the center of Endgame’s maze.

At the same time, I was recording my everyday life in my house, being the kitchen, the bedroom or even the balcony and spending most of my time in the home studio. A lot of hours working with several synthesis tools, my eurorack synthesizer as well as various creative plugins in the digital workstation. And… this is how this mixtape came into life.

Obviously, living in a convenient apartment in Greek province during springtime with my partner is not so grey and gloomy or miserable as of let’s say Endgame’s world. This is quite apparent in the mixtape too. But still… the threatening atmosphere, the malicious effects in our reality in some way or another are “operating” either in our conscious layers (how our everyday life has changed) or in the underflow, in the mazes of our subconscious.

To sum up, I have never hide my personal fascination for mazes and labyrinths as my favorite symbols of life and cosmos, nor for theater and drama. This mixtape is not an exception. For this one I chose the theater reference to be represented throughout the track titles. All of them are quotes from Beckett’s play being phrases or even dialogue. Always in a playful manner even if they clearly represent a quite claustrophobic situation. Even if they seem so relevant to our current lives.

credits

released January 14, 2021
Tracklist
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1. Rendeece – Do you see how it goes on? –More or less. –Will it not soon be the end? –I'm afraid it will. –You'll make up another. –I don't know. I feel rather drained. The prolonged creative effort. If I could drag myself down to the sea! I'd make a pillow of sand for my head and the tide would come. –There's no more tide.

2. Rendeece – Go and see is she dead. – Looks like it. –And Nagg? –Doesn't look like it. –What's he doing? –He's crying. –Then he's living. [02:53]

3. Rendeece – Open the window. –What for? –I want to hear the sea. –You wouldn't hear it. –Even if you opened the window? –No. –Than it's not worth while opening it? –No. –Than open it! Have you opened it? –Yes. –You swear you've opened it? –Yes. –Well...! It must be very calm. I'm asking you is it very calm! –Yes. –Close the window, we're going back. [06:41]

4. Rendeece – We're getting on. You weep, and weep, for nothing, so as not to laugh, and little by little... you begin to grieve. All those I might have helped. Helped! Saved. Saved! The place was crawling with them. Use your head, can't you, use your head, you're on earth, there's no cure for that! Get out of here and love one another! Lick your neighbor as yourself! The end is in the beginning and yet you go on. Perhaps I could go on with my story, end it and begin another. If I can hold my peace, and sit quiet, it will be all over with sound, and motion, all over and done with. [10:52]

5. Rendeece – Do you know what it is? I was never there. Clov! – What is it? – I was never there. – Lucky for you. – Absent, always. It all happened without me. I don't know what's happened. Do you know what's happened? Clov! –When? Where? – When! What's happened? Use your head, can't you! What has happened? – What for Christ's sake does it matter? – I don't know. [13:46]

6. Rendeece – Let's stop playing! – Never! Put me in my coffin. – There are no more coffins. – Then let it end! With a bang! Of darkness! [20:10]

7. Rendeece – They said to me, That's love, yes, yes, not a doubt, now you see how –Articulate! –How easy it is. They said to me, That's friendship, yes, yes, no question, you've found it. They said to me, Here's the place, stop, raise your head and look at all that beauty. That order! They said to me, Come now, you're not a brute beast, think upon these things and you'll see how all becomes clear. And simple! They said to me, What skilled attention they get, all these dying of their wounds. – Enough! – I say to myself— sometimes, Clov, you must learn to suffer better than that if you want them to weary of punishing you— one day. I say to myself—sometimes, Clov, you must be better than that if you want them to let you go—one day. But I feel too old, and too far, to form new habits. Good, it'll never end, I'll never go. Then one day, suddenly, it ends, it changes, I don't understand, it dies, or it's me, I don't understand that either. I open the door of the cell and go. When I fall I'll weep for happiness. [24:27]

8. Rendeece – Me to play. Old endgame lost of old, play and lose and have done with losing. Let me see. Ah yes! Good. Discard. Take it easy. And now? Raise hat. Peace to our... arses. And put on again. Deuce. Wipe. And put on again. We're coming. A few more squirms like that and I'll call. A little poetry. You prayed— You CRIED for night; it comes— It FALLS: now cry in darkness. You cried for night; it falls: now cry in darkness. And now? Moments for nothing, now as always, time was never and time is over. Since that's the way we're playing it... let's play it that way... [28:34]

Conceived by & produced by Rendeece.
Made for my residency @ web radio, Random Access Radio.

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Rendeece Preveza, Greece

Theater, Tarot, Therapy

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